ESFP pushes and takes, and dominates the room. INFJ keeps the ethics of people and dislikes being pushed. ESFP's "if you want it, just take it" reaches the place where INFJ does not want to be pushed. Before ESFP, INFJ's conscience begins to look like weakness.
ESFP's "force that pushes and takes" is INFJ's point of least resistance. A judgement that is obvious to ESFP is engraved deep in INFJ as approval or rejection. Augustinavičiūtė called this "one-sided vulnerability". ESFP does not know it, and only feels they are saying the right thing.
Augustinavičiūtė wrote that there is not enough observational data on the supervision relation. What is known: the supervisor reaches the supervisee's point of least resistance directly; if the signal is positive it is very pleasant, and if negative, even a light one is very unpleasant.
One push turns conscience into weakness.
Answering with possibilities does not reach
When INFJ counters with talk of possibilities, ESFP listens, and then takes. INFJ's ethics do not work on ESFP; ESFP's force works on INFJ. A one-way match.
INFJ has one advantage too. Their second, "eye that opens possibilities", sits above ESFP's third. When INFJ produces it, ESFP's role collapses, and ESFP pushes back with a flood of words. INFJ's first, "ethics of people", sits where ESFP cannot understand, so ESFP finds INFJ a little mysterious and a little frightening.
In marriage it takes the form of rabbit and boa; between parent and child there is no escape. The relationship is kept by INFJ instinctively taking distance.
How each sees the other
ESFP → INFJ
Deep. A good person.
Not enough push.
Mysterious, and a little frightening.
INFJ → ESFP
Strong.
They push.
Only this person's approval weighs.
What has been recorded
SCENE 01Rabbit and boa
In marriage it takes the form of "rabbit and boa", and divorce is common. Between parent and child there is no escape, and it is most dangerous. With the boss as supervisor, formal rank supports it and it runs naturally; with the subordinate as supervisor, it clashes the moment superiority is asserted: Slinko's observation.
SCENE 02The too-fussy person
Even in a good relationship, the supervisee feels the other as "someone so fussy it is repellent". Suddenly, without hesitation, they step into private territory. The supervisor is only turning attention, without hesitation, to what concerns their leading function: Augustinavičiūtė's observation.
SCENE 03The dual's opinion
The supervisor's evaluation is strongly swayed by the opinion of their dual. If the dual rates the supervisee highly, the supervisor goes along: Augustinavičiūtė's observation.
Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene
ConversationINFJ takes only ESFP's approval heavily.
RomanceThe closer, the more INFJ wears down.
Living togetherESFP's casual evaluations are engraved as approval or rejection.
WorkWith ESFP as the boss, it runs naturally.
FamilyESFP parent and INFJ child is the most dangerous form.
If you keep going
Do not enter private territory
ESFP steps without hesitation into what concerns their leading function.
Put INFJ's strength into words
ESFP cannot see INFJ's first position.
Do not come too close
Once the outside world is involved, it becomes unbearable.
For these two
How to meet ── Where there is a hierarchy
A relation where a casual remark lands large. Senior and junior, lecturer and student. With a formal hierarchy it runs naturally.
Approach ── Praise. That is all
Only the supervisor's approval stays heavy with the other. Correction reaches their weakest place. Praise, and keep the distance.
A date ── To the place they are good at
Go to see what the supervised side is good at. Do not take them to what the supervising side is good at. Make it a day where they are the lead.
Gifts ── for ESFP, A plan read ahead; for INFJ, Practical help
For ESFP: A plan for an anniversary, a promise a year ahead. The future ESFP does not calculate alone. For INFJ: Helping to tidy, a useful tool. What INFJ is waiting for is hands that move.
PROne thing for this relation
A relation where a casual remark lands large, so tools for choosing words.
The closer, the more INFJ wears down. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".
Do ESFP and INFJ work well together?
With ESFP as the boss, it runs naturally. More under "Love, living together, work, family: scene by scene" and "If you keep going".
This pair is the supervision relation, one of the sixteen. How the relation itself arises, and how to tell it from the others, is on the relation page.
The two Model A's: what talks to what
ESFP on the left, INFJ on the right. Each shows where the eight elements sit; lines connect the same element. Where each line starts and ends decides what happens in this relation.
Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)
1 → 4SeESFP's 1 (leading) Se (extraverted sensing) sits in INFJ's position 4 (vulnerable). What ESFP does as a matter of course lands on INFJ's sore spot. Pressure without malice.
2 → 1FiESFP's 2 (creative) Fi (introverted ethics) sits in INFJ's position 1 (leading). Both strong here. Same ground: fast understanding, and some rivalry.
3 → 2NeESFP's 3 (role) Ne (extraverted intuition) sits in INFJ's position 2 (creative). INFJ leads exactly where ESFP is weak. ESFP feels seen through.
4 → 3TiESFP's 4 (vulnerable) Ti (introverted logic) sits in INFJ's position 3 (role). Both weak. The same thing goes wrong for both.
5 → 8NiESFP's 5 (suggestive) Ni (introverted intuition) sits in INFJ's position 8 (demonstrative). INFJ could give it but does not think to. Comes when ESFP asks in words.
6 → 5TeESFP's 6 (mobilizing) Te (extraverted logic) sits in INFJ's position 5 (suggestive). Both want it, neither has it. Must come from outside.
7 → 6SiESFP's 7 (ignoring) Si (introverted sensing) sits in INFJ's position 6 (mobilizing). ESFP has what INFJ wants without noticing. Appears only when asked.
8 → 7FeESFP's 8 (demonstrative) Fe (extraverted ethics) sits in INFJ's position 7 (ignoring). Both capable, both indifferent. Left alone.