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Semi-duality
準双対 · Полудуальные
Deep down it connects; up close it slips a little.
準双対 ／ one of the sixteen relations
It fits by half. Where it matters you connect deeply, yet in the details of daily life you slip. "So close" is the phrase that fits this relation best.
SEMI-DUALITY
01 When you first meet
Connecting deep down
What you hold dear is close. What counts as good, what cannot be forgiven, line up. So you can have the heavy conversations. Things hard to explain to others get through to this person.
And one of you is actually supporting the other's weak spot. The support has the same shape as duality, but on one side only. So the early impression is very good.
Thinking "this is the one" in this relation is natural. In fact, for half of it, you are right.
02 After a while
The small things do not fit
The tempo of life, the speed of talking, the way things get done. The big values agree, yet the details of every day slip. And that slip repeats daily.
The other person is not at fault. They are responding, only in a shape different from the one you want. The feeling arrives, but the method does not fit. So you are grateful, and a little short.
And this shortfall is hard to put into words. Deep down you understand each other, so complaining makes you feel spoilt.
03 If it is to last
Where it matters, it stays in tune
The relation lasts long. The foundation fits, so there is no reason for a decisive break. The bigger the event, the more of a support it is; in daily life it wears down slowly. Strong in emergencies, laborious in ordinary times.
So it is better not to try to force the unfitting areas into line by effort. Dividing the chores, the routine of daily life, how often to be in touch. Solving these with a system is faster, and the relation is not damaged.
Do not let the slips in detail make you think lightly of the fit at the foundation. That match is the part nothing else can replace.
Telling it from duality
Both are relations of mutual support. The range of the support differs.
- Does the effort shrink, or only by half
- In duality, the effort of life as a whole keeps shrinking. In semi-duality it shrinks in one area and grows in another. On balance easier, but not complete.
- Can you voice a complaint
- In duality, complaints hardly arise in the first place. In semi-duality there are complaints, but too small to say. This difficulty of saying is the distinctive feature.
- Emergencies or ordinary times: where does it work
- Duality works from ordinary times on. Semi-duality shows its strength exactly at the big moments and wears down in the everyday.
Where this relation is useful
As long as you do not try to fill everything with just the two of you, it works very well.
- Put small discomforts into words early
- Too small to say, piling up unsaid: that is the typical way this relation gets stuck. Early on, it can be handed over as a light remark.
- Leave the details of daily life to a system
- The areas that do not fit will not fit by effort. Solving them with rules and tools reduces the wear on both sides.
- Lean on it for the big decisions
- Career, changing jobs, family matters. Here it is more of a support than any other relation. Using it where it is strong is the right answer.
PROne thing for this relation
A relation that connects deep down and slips up close, so tools to put the slip into words.
- Conversation cardsDecide how to ask, and the slip gets smaller.
- A place a little far, for twoFor two who connect better with distance.
- A shared diaryWrite what cannot be said up close.
Works that draw this relation
Chosen from works where the relationship between the two is itself the centre of the story.
- Mahoro Ekimae Tada Benriken2011 · film · Japan
Deep down, completely in tune. And yet the tempo of daily life alone never fits, to the end.
This is not a typing of the characters. They are listed as examples where the shape of this relation is drawn clearly.
Songs this relation runs through
Chosen from songs whose subject is exactly what happens between the two.
- Ordinary PeopleJohn Legend · 2004
In tune where it matters, and the everyday is hard. Semi-duality, right down to the conclusion that the only way is to go slowly.
- Kazoku ni Narou yoMasaharu Fukuyama · 2011
A song about leaving the small things to a system, because the foundation agrees. A relation strong in emergencies and laborious in ordinary times.
No lyrics are quoted. The songs are listed for the shape of relation they deal with.
Semi-duality in Model A: what talks to what
Example: INTJ and ENFJ. Every pair in this relation connects the same positions in the same way; only the elements inside change.
Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)
The 8 pairs in this relation
Semi-duality is symmetric: it looks the same from either side.