15 / 16 · a relation with direction

Benefit

恩恵 · Социальный заказ · benefactor's side

You hand it over without noticing.

恩恵／ seen from the giving side ／ the other side is Beneficiary

A one-way relation. What you say casually, the other takes seriously. What you are handing over is far larger than you think.

BENEFACTOR

01 When you first meet

They listen unusually keenly

You are talking normally. You did not mean to say anything special. Yet the other remembers well and brings it up later. Sometimes they have even acted on it.

It does not feel bad. What you do as a matter of course is, for the other, something out of reach yet wanted. So a light remark becomes a guideline over there.

The entrance to this relation is usually a pleasant one. Only, you do not know what you are handing over.

02 After a while

What comes back does not stay much

The other is returning something too. Only, it does not reach you much. Not bad, yet it leaves no impression. You can tell you are being thanked, but there is no sense of receiving.

The other has strong parts too. But these simply do not enter your eye. Not so much unseen as not felt to be important. Your interest does not turn that way.

As a result, the flow happens on one side only. You keep giving, the other keeps receiving. And sometimes neither of you feels this as imbalance.

03 If it is to last

Noticing later what you handed over

One day your own words come out of the other's mouth. And used better than you use them. There, for the first time, you see what you had been handing over.

Set up as an equal friendship, only the imbalance stands out. Teaching, delegating, being asked. Give it a form with roles and the same flow works healthily.

And go looking, deliberately, for the other's strong parts. Unseen is not the same as absent. In the area you cannot take an interest in lies the other's real ability. Recognise it by name and the tilt of the relation comes back a little.

The other rates you above what you are. Not trying to match that image, staying life-size, lasts longer.

What the giving side can do

Trying to change the other will not move it. What can be adjusted is the way of handing over.

Do not try to live up to the expectation: The other sees you as more than you are. Trying to match that image wears you down. Staying life-size lasts longer in the end.
Go looking for the other's strong parts: In the area you cannot take an interest in lies the other's real ability. Recognise it by name and the tilt of the relation comes back a little.
Do not take on too much of the adviser's role: Requests for advice from this person come without limit. Setting the frequency, not the total, holds better for both.

One-way, and so it works strongly

If you do not ask for equality, it is among the most efficient relations of the sixteen.

Teaching and transmission: What is ordinary to you becomes value as it is for the other. Conveying it takes no labour. As a teaching relation, there are few better combinations.
When you want to spread your influence: This person carries your ideas to other places. And carries them translated into their own words, so they reach where you cannot.

PROne thing for this relation

A relation in which you hand over without noticing, so something to give shape to what you handed over.

A giftThe giver's remark is, to the other, society's request.
A book on listeningIf the boss is the giver, learn to listen.
A meal out for twoA relation that can become true friendship.

Works that draw this relation

Chosen from works where the relationship between the two is itself the centre of the story.

The Professor and His Beloved Equation2006 · film · Japan
What one does as a matter of course becomes, for the other, a gift out of reach. On the giving side no record remains.

This is not a typing of the characters. They are listed as examples where the shape of this relation is drawn clearly.

Songs this relation runs through

Chosen from songs whose subject is exactly what happens between the two.

Bridge Over Troubled WaterSimon & Garfunkel · 1970
From the supporting side. The one holding it out is not measuring how much.
Tegami: Haikei Jūgo no Kimi eAngela Aki · 2008
Words handed over now work in the other over years. The time lag of benefit itself.

No lyrics are quoted. The songs are listed for the shape of relation they deal with.

Benefit (benefactor) in Model A: what talks to what

Example: INTJ and ISTP. Every pair in this relation connects the same positions in the same way; only the elements inside change.

Lines connect the same element in the other person's structure. 1–2 (strong) 3 (role) 4 (vulnerable) 5–6 (wanted) 7–8 (capable, indifferent)

1 → 8TiINTJ's 1 (leading) Ti (introverted logic) sits in ISTP's position 8 (demonstrative). ISTP can do what INTJ is good at but does not value it. INTJ feels slightly unappreciated.

2 → 5NeINTJ's 2 (creative) Ne (extraverted intuition) sits in ISTP's position 5 (suggestive). What INTJ produces naturally is what ISTP has been waiting for. The most comfortable flow.

3 → 6FiINTJ's 3 (role) Fi (introverted ethics) sits in ISTP's position 6 (mobilizing). INTJ is weak here and ISTP wants it. A gap neither can fill.

4 → 7SeINTJ's 4 (vulnerable) Se (extraverted sensing) sits in ISTP's position 7 (ignoring). ISTP quietly covers INTJ's weak point. For ISTP it is nothing.

5 → 4FeINTJ's 5 (suggestive) Fe (extraverted ethics) sits in ISTP's position 4 (vulnerable). What INTJ asks for is ISTP's weakest point. The more INTJ asks, the smaller ISTP gets.

6 → 1SiINTJ's 6 (mobilizing) Si (introverted sensing) sits in ISTP's position 1 (leading). ISTP constantly supplies what INTJ wants. Where INTJ relaxes.

7 → 2TeINTJ's 7 (ignoring) Te (extraverted logic) sits in ISTP's position 2 (creative). ISTP's main field is one INTJ does not care about. Little friction, little interest.

8 → 3NiINTJ's 8 (demonstrative) Ni (introverted intuition) sits in ISTP's position 3 (role). INTJ could protect ISTP's weak point but is not inclined to. Will if asked.

The 16 pairs in this relation

The left is the giving side, the right the receiving. Reverse the direction and it is a different relation.

ENTP が ENFJ にILE → EIE ISFP が ISTJ にSEI → LSI ESFJ が ENFP にESE → IEE INTJ が ISTP にLII → SLI ENFJ が ESFP にEIE → SEE ISTJ が INTP にLSI → ILI ESTP が ESFJ にSLE → ESE INFP が INTJ にIEI → LII ESFP が ESTJ にSEE → LSE INTP が INFJ にILI → EII ENTJ が ESTP にLIE → SLE ISFJ が INFP にESI → IEI ESTJ が ENTP にLSE → ILE INFJ が ISFP にEII → SEI ENFP が ENTJ にIEE → LIE ISTP が ISFJ にSLI → ESI

This relation has a direction. Read from the receiving side, it looks entirely different.

To the Beneficiary page

The sixteen relations

Identity Duality Activation Mirror Semi-duality Kindred Super-ego Business Quasi-identity Illusionary Extinguishment Conflict Supervisor Supervisee Benefactor Beneficiary